


black sheep

by StraiFoxsss



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Dark Past, Dehumanization, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Grant Ward Isn't Hydra, Human Experimentation, Hydra (Marvel), Memory Loss, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Multiple Personalities, Mutants, Past Abuse, Past Brainwashing, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, Past Violence, Protective Avengers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Psychological Torture, Rape Recovery, Recovery, Super Soldier Serum, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-19 00:34:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17591393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StraiFoxsss/pseuds/StraiFoxsss
Summary: Bucky has been freed from hydra's control when he was in Wakanda, his life is actually starting to feel somewhat normal.  His relationship with Stark is not "hey every time I see you I'll pull out a blaster and kill you!" in fact they have a somewhat shaky friendship at this point, it helps though that he doesn't live in the complex with the other Avengers.  He has been living with Steve for now, not being trusted to live on his own just yet, or maybe ever.  Recently he keeps remembering details from his past, he thought he had gotten almost all his memories back by now but these are all about a black haired women, always sleeping, always so sad looking.  Finally hes had enough and searches into her, but all he can remember is the code name "Black Sheep".  This black sheep, who is it? and what are their connection to the winter soldier?  What more will unfold from his past that he cant remember and when they find the "sheep" what startling facts are revealed?





	1. Chapter 1

# Black Sheep

Bumpy, gravel under tire, the smell of snow and pine and gunpowder. He opened his eyes to see he was inside a heavy carrier van, around him were other agents of hydra but what caught his eyes was the large cryo looking tube in the center of the vehicle, but instead of the signature frost covering the single whole where the face should be was a slightly glowing blue liquid that most likely filled the entirety of the container. But what he saw that peeked his interest the most was the face that was present, all he could see was the top of the head due to the dark colored mask that probably gave the individual inside oxygen. Long black hair floated around the very pale head, eyes closed and looking very peaceful. Their face almost seemed to draw them in, they reached out there hand, inches away... **Bump**


	2. dream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baa Baa Black sheep  
> Have you any wool?  
> “Yes sir, yes sir  
> Three bags full!”
> 
> Once for the master,  
> One for the dame,  
> And one for the little boy  
> Who lives down the lane.
> 
> Master took all however,  
> The little boy got none...

# Black Sheep

### A Dream

###### Russia

Bumpy, gravel under tire, the smell of snow and pine and gunpowder. He opened his eyes to see he was inside a heavy carrier van, around him were other agents of hydra but what caught his eyes was the large cryo looking tube in the center of the vehicle, but instead of the signature frost covering the single hole where the face should be was a slightly glowing blue liquid that most likely filled the entirety of the container. But what he saw that peaked his interest the most was the face that was present inside, all he could see was the top of the head due to the dark colored mask that probably gave the individual inside oxygen. Long black hair floated around the very pale face, eyes closed and looking very peaceful spite the situation the person was in. Their face almost seemed to draw them in, they reached out there hand, inches away, so close to touching the cold surface of the tube, so close to touching that somehow peaceful face inside... **Bump**

Bucky woke in a cold sweat. Where was he!? He felt around in the dark, his mind still remembering being in a moving vehicle, surrounded by soldiers and handlers and the mysterious tube. As his hands swept around his person the soft sheets sliding through his touch like velvet and the smell of old hardwood and bacon brought him back. He was safe. He was at Steve's apartment. On the couch in the living room. He slowly got up and stretched his aching limbs, popping them back into place from his tossing and turning and awkward positions on the couch. his metal arm's gears wiring as he rolled it in a circular position to get feeling back into his shoulders. 'what was that? a dream...no it felt real, like a memory?' it was the first time he had ever remembered that face, smooth skin and long black hair that looked like silk, just on the rim of his still foggy from sleep brain. "who were you?" he said to himself in a whisper. "who's who?" Bucky jumped a little In surprise that Steve sneaked up on him. He looked at Steve that had a curious expression plastered on his face. 'Should he tell him?' he though 'no, not yet. I feel like I should look into this separately for now...' "Nothing Stevie, just...a dream" it was honestly a pretty bad excuse seeing as what Steve must of heard him mumbling a second ago but really though it was true in a way... "well whatever, breakfast?" he held up a plate of pancakes and bacon "ya, sounds good" he started over towards Steve as the blond super soldier walked around the corner into the small kitchen.

**Austria. 1943. Hydra Base. Factory**

"sir!" a short man with circular glasses came running down a dark hallway, papers clutched in his small arms. "Doctor Zola." the doctor came up and halted a few paces in front of a man that exuded power and dominance and that tingle in the back of one's mind that one should stay far, far away from him.  Panting hard, brown eyes looked into steely grey blue "sir **it's** readings are fluctuating." the man in a long black German styled uniform looked down at the balding man and then back down the hall from whence he came "do you know why?" his voice was silky and almost calming if you didn't know who he was "well were not fore sure...but it started just a little after the new batch of prisoners were brought in today" "the Americans?" the small man nodded hastily "hmm...take some, they might become useful in experiments if our little sheep is reacting to one or more of them" "yes sir!" the scientist ran back the way he came, leaving the tall man behind "well, well~ does the little sheep wish to give some of its wool?" the tall man chuckled and walked back down the hall to where he was going originally.

He and 200 of his party were captured, by whom they had no clue all they knew was that this was a horrible HORRIBLE situation. As of now they have been walking non stop for 2 days without food or water and many have already been beaten or even killed from dropping in exhaustion, he and a few others he knew and quickly became friends with out in this hell stuck together and tried as hard as possible to help walk with anyone who looked like they would drop at any moment. After the third day they finally reached where they apparently needed to be hauled to. In Front of them was a massive structure.  Bucky’s mouth dropped slightly at the sheer scale of it, he saw smoke billowing out of different areas behind the gates they were now passing, a factory. He apparently was gawking to much because suddenly he felt a painful jab against the back of his head and heard the harsh German language yell out for him to keep moving. Once inside they were escorted to circular jail cells, seeing as this was probably a prisoner factory he knew that it was gonna get much worse later on…

That night as all the men tried to get in what little sleep they could before they were sent to do whatever labor they were brought here for. His dreams were of Brooklyn, of Steve and then eventually of bombs, blood, ditches, the blue lights that disintegrated his friends...suddenly he was in a completely white space “am I dead?” he looked around himself but still, as far as the eye could see just a blank canvas. He decided to walk a single direction and see where that took him. It felt like hours had passed when he saw something marrying the whiteness that surrounded him, he ran towards it like a thirsty man in the desert who sees a watering hole. Once he got towards it he could see it was a black...something? The source of difference was that it was completely black, it looked like how blood or ink looks when floating in water, it was just floating there, a slow methodical and changing sway that was honestly quite relaxing. He had such an urge to reach out. To touch such a foreignness. This alien thing in front of him. And against all better judgement he did. When he did, what he was not expecting was to now be in the middle of a burning village, bodies everywhere “what the hell?” there was no gunfire, no explosions, no screaming. All was silent but in that way it was almost more morbid. The only sounds coming from the falling buildings and crackling of fire that was their demise. He decided to walk further in, as he did the landscape almost looked like it was glitching in areas. Finally he heard a noise, not of fire or destruction, a cry, a child's cry. His eyes widened and he ran towards it, the surrounding images glitched more and more as the crying grew in volume. Finally he stopped abruptly, in front of him was a town square in appearance, the glitching was now everywhere. But what drew his attention was a small figure hunched over a body, a woman's body. “Little girl?” he reached out as the girls head snapped up but not at him, no it was in the direction of a tall and thin man wearing all black with some red accents on his leather uniform “hello dear” “w-why wont mommy get up?” the girl was hysterical and Bucky wanted to move to her, wanted to shout for her to get away from the man who had a German uniform on. But he couldn't. He couldn't move or speak or do anything but watch in despair as the man walked up to the girl in calm strides and crouched down to her level “she is dead.” “d-dead?” “never to come back, this is your fault” “mine?” no its not! He wanted to shout, a little girl had no part in this horror “yes” the man's lips grew into a wide toothy smile that made Bucky want to throw up “you brought this on your little village, because your a monster.” “...monster?” she was now hiccuping in small gasps of air “yes~ but I can help you, make you better” “will...will mommy come back?” “we will bring her back together with the new world together!” the glitching was now taking up almost everything. The man drew his hand halfway towards the girl, palm up.  The girl looked at it then towards his face then at the hand again.  Everyone she knew was dead...all gone...but maybe...she can help this man? he wanted to help...he could make the pain stop?  The girls hand hesitantly reached towards his gloved one. 'No stop!' Just before everything glitched out of frame and into blackness Bucky saw the girls mournful smile that showed how much hope she was putting in this man and the man's smile grew in volume till it resembled a wolfs grin.

**gasp!**

"Barnes?" he looked around wildly only to see his fellow soldiers surrounding him in the enclosed space that was their cell. Not the burning village, not the unpleasant man or crying child. "I-I'm fine just a dream…” “a’rite…” he looked at the ground in wonder and concern ‘what was that all about?’

**present**

"Apparently they found another base over in China" all Steve got in response was a low grunt. across from Steve at their dining room table sat Bucky, pancakes and bacon in front of both of them, the warmth of the apartment and the strong fragrance of black coffee permeated the air. "apparently it used to be a hydra information doc, Coulson wants us to scour the place dry for any new information it might have" "good idea" Steve looked back at Bucky in though, the other not really paying attention, currently burning a hole through his food "what is it?" "huh?" "what was the dream about, ever since you woke up you've been out of it, trying to kill you food through the gaze of death" "just...thinking is all." Steve held his gaze a moment longer when they both heard his phone ring out, Steve sighed and picked it up "Nat?" there was that intangible noise one hears when cannot hear the words from the other end of the line. Steve sighed and nodded saying okay well be there soon and then hung up "what was it?" "says they found the exact coordinates, they want us over there so we can be wheels up" "okay" Bucky stood up and brought over his and Steve's dishes to the sink and turned on the faucet, beginning to wash the delicate wears in the warm water which he tried to turn up all the way. Steve saw the extreme heat exude in the form of steam coming up but said nothing. he knew since Bucky had gotten out of hydra he had taken any chance he got with hot water, the thought of being sprayed down with a cold hose every time he was even allowed a "shower" immediately put a scowl on his face. "well when your done with that go change and we'll go over to the compound, they have a quin jet ready already." Bucky just nodded his head, finishing up the last dish and turning the water off, wishing that there were more plates to wash with the heat slowly fading from his now softly pink hand. he sighed and walked towards his room that was across from Steve's.

As he was getting his gear strapped on he thought about his dream...no, memory and what little he remembered from the base in Austria that the memory in turned triggered. He couldn't understand why the dream had triggered him being back in that hellish factory. The main reason he was so out of it during breakfast was because he was remembering the experiments and labor that him and the other prisoners endured in that hydra factory back in the war, but...how did that face in the tube and the factory in Austria connect? he stared at his wall sighed and ran a hand through his long dark brown hair in frustration 'whatever i'll think about it later' he knew he would continue to think about it, it all just didn't make sense, who was she and what was his connection with her?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who is black sheep? why does Barnes keep dreaming of her? why is she always in the tube? some of these answers will be revealed in the next chapter!


	3. China's secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky finds a file that may be helpful to his recant dreams. (medial file)

**0950\. China. Hohhot.**

it had only taken them around two hours to get to their destination in Hohhot, the capital of Mongolia, one of the largest regions of China. He couldn't quite remember if he had ever been to this base, in particular, it didn't look familiar. the jet landed just outside of the abandoned complex that was hidden from Ariel view from the thick bamboo and tree cover in the surrounding area "this is it, Buck look familiar?" "no. Not that I can recall, i don't think I've even ever been to any bases in China" "that's kinda surprising, there apparently used to be quite a few" Barton spoke up from the back where he was standing next to the window and Wanda. "not that I can remember, it doesn't mean I haven't been here and just can't remember." Sam walked up to the two super soldiers "and we're sure it's abandoned?" "yep, its as abandoned as a ghost town birdy" Stark was outside his suit and looking at a holograph thing on his wrist that appeared to show heat signatures inside the complex "alright, let go in teams Hawkeye your with Widow, Wanda your with Sam, Tony-" before he could even announce that Toy was with Vision he was in his suit and flying around the outside "gonna find other ways in!" "Tony!" he was long gone and Steve grumbled under his breath. Natasha came up and pat his back "common let's go if it is abandoned then the only thing we should be cautious about is the stability of the base, looks pretty old." "common then let's go"

It only took about 30 more minutes of packing up anything that looked important before they were ready to go. On the way out bucky paused at the entrance of one room in particular on the bottom floor. The inside consisted of lots of heavy air ducts and thick liquid tubes that were either connected to a large test tube looking capsule in the center or just laying on the ground. The room almost looked familiar, a testing room from the looks of it but for who he had no idea. "common let's go" he turned back towards Hawkeye to see him paused up ahead with a box of files in hand, the same as he was hauling out. He looked back into the room once more and continued out.

There were around 40 boxes in total they had to unload once they got back to the compound. After that his and Steve headed back to their place, Once there he hurried off to his room to change and look at the file he hid from everyone else. He stared for quite some time at the fonts inside **black sheep** he looked at the image and face inside the file, the whole while his memory tugging and pulling, saying 'you know her, you know her!' but he just couldn't remember and so he started to read.

**Day 1**

experiments were brought in today. There were 31 in total. project BLACK SHEEP is ago. Started with low doses of tesseract injections. all but 3 died in these trials.

Bucky read on in disgust. Only three people that survived out of 31? That's horrible numbers, and they used the tesseract?

**Day 2**

Two of the three died today. They got ahold of a pencil and stabbed their own throat. The other two seem to be deteriorating and other than being able to teleport things to them not much is happening.

**Day 3**

The last test subjects are dead. A mutant was brought in today. They think that their already enhanced self will withhold effects of the tesseract. A single dose of tesseract was injected. All seems okay so far.

**Day 4**

Subject 0032 is withstanding injections. From observation 0032's powers have been enhanced. More restraint needed. Sending in a request for Zola to make a collar to restrain.

Bucky's jaw clenched at the name. He was involved with this. He hadn't realized that he was trembling just a bit until he looked at his hand holding the file, its thin material clutched tightly in his tremulous hand.

**Day 9**

0032 is showing signs of multiple personalities. during a session, they went stock still and the entire atmosphere changed. We have decided that this can be used. Other personality show signs of erosion exept to protect original personality of 0032. more experiments to see if this is not just mental but also due to tesseract interference.

**Day 10**

Tested to see what would bring out the black sheep today. We have decided to use this detached personality for furthure use. Black sheep did not come out until bodily harm was induced on 0032. During testing, we found that 0032 has high self healing abilities. Further testing required to see how far said abilities go.

Bucky paled, he knew exactly where this was going and if the first few pictures told anything, it was that when this 0032 was brought in they were just a child. He kept reading with a heavy wight pressing against his chest.

**Day 11**

0032 was given to docter Shill. Throughtout the day 0032 was tested with multiple different levels of pain. One such level was declothed and thrown into a freezer vault. Shill had to take out within the hour. We found that cold tempetures deteriate 0032's blood vessles. Further insepection shows that this problem can be easily solved if given instant transfusion there afterwards. Cold also appears to create an overload of pain in the threshold.

**Day 13**

restrants were added today. a collar was placed around the neck. everytime 0032 would act out thier handler would press the trigger to inject a cold blast. Shill did not like this at first until he heard that it was not enough to deteriate but only cause pain levels to increase during injection.

"bucky?" Bucky's eyes widend and just before the door was open he hid the file under his pilow "yah?" "dinners ready...you okay?" "yah why?" "....your crying" suprised by this bucky lifted his flesh hand gently up to his cheek and indeed felt the wetness of tears. He hadent even relized... "yah..im fine, just...had a flash back is all" "want to talk about it?" bucky shook his head "alright...well come out when your ready" and he left.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we have a name now...


	4. memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That file, it stirred something in him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's starting to get into things!

it was cold. dark. the smell of rusted metal and another kind of metallic sent infiltrated his senses. Blood

light started to attack his sight and the motion of blicking flashed across his vision. as suddenly as there was no light, there now was. looking around the room was what he would have expected, dark and decrepit. the image blurred into and out of focus and suddenly he was in a large circular room, there was a glowing tube in the center. The room was fuzzy like a glitched out film. Suddenly he was in front of the tube. He saw inside it, anyone could. 

suddenly a loud echoed scream surrounded him, bouncing off all the walls

the room was blurring again and he heard loud echoes all around him. Blurring again he was suddenly facing the opposite side. The doors burst open and 7 armed guards came in. They were dragging a girl with long black hair inside, her kicking and screaming echoing off all around his head. A soldier looked his way "guard the entrance." the room blurred again and he was suddenly in a smaller and cleaner room. Then the screaming started and his mind felt like it was tearing him a new one, so loud. everything was fuzzy and glitching and then suddenly figures glitched into place around a metal table. Doctors surrounding a body tied down to the table with metal chains, like him. It was the same girl with black hair. He saw her face for the first time. pale so very pale, her eyes puffy from the tears that were still flowing but her eyes, they were the brightest golden color he'd ever seen, like molten gold. "STOP! PLEASE!" the echoing voice was cut off by its own gut-wrenching scream. the room glitched again and he was in front of the tube again. Inside water was filling it up with the girl inside, a mask now secured to her slim face. She placed her hand flat against the shell of the tube, her eyes were filled with sadness. the room glitched. His hand was atop hers from the outside. The room glitched. She was in front of him in a cell. Shackled down along with himself. Glitch. "winter..." her smile so soft...

he woke up and fell off his bed in a cold sweat, panting like he'd just ran a marathon

"she knew me...

**Unkown base in Brazil**

There was a great deal of movement and noises in the room. in the center was a man looking about with a great deal of coldness. Suddenly a tall lanky man came running up to him with papers in hand "sir! it's brain waves are fluctuating at abnormal hights!" "do we know the reasons?" "...no, not yet" "well find out, last time this happened while in it's sleep cycle it was in Austria and you know how that ended." the white coat paled, remembering the report. "now go and fix this, take it out and reprogram it if you have to." "y-yes sir" and the man scuttled away as fast as he came. Two levels down was a large room with fewer scientists and personnel, in the center was a tank connected from the floor to the ceiling. long Black hair floated around a pale face set in a relaxed sleeping position. the girl inside the vat was floating in a glowing blue liquid, tubes attached to an oxygen mask and even more, tubes leading out from the bottom of the tank going in all directions into the walls of the room, the walls, in general, had all sorts of computers. Though the strangest thing was the ultraviolet lights (not on) around the entirety of the room. the lanky man from earlier walked in and several other men turned towards him "verdict?" one man with bright red hair asked "says to fix it, bring it out if we need to and reprogram it." "did you heard by the way?" "hear what?" "the base in China was raided by the Avengers, you know the one with the data bank" the other man grimaced "that's not good..." "hey...do you suppose that this base location has been compromised?" "I don't kn-" "get back to work!" one of the sentinels shouted to them. The men turned back towards the figure encased in suspended animation "well I say we wipe it and put it back in the tube." "sounds like the best option right now...we don't want a repeat of Austria..." "yeah..." the lanky man turned towards a guard near a panel in the wall "turn the lights on!" the man complied and pulled the large lever up with force and the room was blinded in super light from all angles, leaving no shadows. "lets do it. Open pressure!" from the other side of the room another tech switched on some faintly glowing red switches on a dashboard with more buttons one could count. he switched on a total of 6 and suddenly a loud draining noise was heard through the room like one would hear when draining all the water from a bath. The tube in the center room started to empty of its liquid contents and as it did the figure inside was slowly lowered into a sitting position still asleep due to the sleeping agents n the mask. "open it up!" the doors were opened and two agents hurried towards the limp body and hefted it by both arms after taking off the mask and moving towards a chair in the corner of the room, the chair looked anything but comfortable. Setting the black haired girl on the chair, they fastened restraints on the wrists, ankles, stomach, and forehead. Just as they were placing the last restraint the girl's eyes lazily began to open and look around the room, taking all her surroundings in with a calculative gaze, no emotion. Suddenly the chair started to tip back as a low humming started to be heard in the air, an electrical humming. The girl's eyes started to show panic and a lab tech came over and placed a mouth guard in her mouth, she complied. suddenly the two panels on the side extruding a charge lowered onto either side of her slender face and the screaming began.

**4 days later, Avengers compound. New York**

Bucky had officially gone obsessed. It started with the memory/dream that happened a while ago but then after he had read the file they found at the base in China he had been getting more and more dreams. What really frustrated him with great trepidation though was that the dreams that he was getting were small, not much information, and almost always her screaming her head off or her inside a tube when it is filled top to bottom with god knows what. Until that night.

Darkness....darkness the eye could see. It was like floating in water though, like floating in space, peaceful. he heard a small sound suddenly, indistinguishable and echoing. he kept hearing it, straining his ears with great force to catch whatever the muffled words were. 

"w...................................."

wi.........................ter..........................."

"WINTER"

so loud! it echoed all around. suddenly he opened his eyes and he was in a cell, the soft sound of dripping a quiet shuffling of chains his only company, that was until he heard it again and finally saw the culprit.

" winter?" the voice was softer now, voice almost scratchy. he looked towards the reference and saw a thin girl with black hair laying around her, her eyes almost glowing in the darkness as their golden orbs gazed at him with concern. suddenly he found himself speaking out towards her "I'm fine Black...just thinking" the girl across from him. chained to the wall grinned a small fox-like grin "that's a dangerous thing to do in this place" "I know...do you remember your time before this?" "this?" "being an asset, an experiment." her face shifted slightly, sadness crawling her features "...sometimes, I get flashed...like a record blurring in and out of focus...how about you?" "....similar" the girl he calls black leaned back up against the cold cell wall and breathed a deep sigh " I suppose... I suppose that were just fated to only know the present" they stayed quite a little longer.

almost as if they foretold the future, bucky's surroundings started to fuzz and glitch around him. he blicked and the next moment he was back in front of that godforsaken chair. the only difference was that instead of him black was in it. He could see the sheer terror in her eyes, the undisturbed panic wash over her entire countenance. As he watched in baited anticipation for the horrid face guards to come down a single tear fell from the girls face and he saw her mouth something. Then the screaming began.

he woke up with shuddering breaths and looked around in a frantic search for the girl that was apparently closer to him than he had first assumed. After he calmed down he reached for his notebook by the side of his bed that he would write dreams/memories in after he wakes up, that's what the therapist says to do anyway and so he writes down all that he had seen in his sleep. finally getting to the ending, the ending where he thinks is the most important

**I love you**

**Author's Note:**

> this book wont really follow the marvel movies after Civil War and Loki is serving a sentence on Earth. This book may be quite triggering to some that have or struggle with rape reference and torture, i will try and say when i insert such moments before in each chapter that they are I'm, but a forewarning just encase you have not read the tags. 
> 
> ~Baa Baa Black sheep  
> Have you any wool?  
> “Yes sir, yes sir  
> Three bags full!”
> 
> Once for the master,  
> One for the dame,  
> And one for the little boy  
> Who lives down the lane.
> 
> Master took all however,  
> The little boy got none...~


End file.
